U. S. A


See California wasn’t really planned.
It wasn’t until we reached a – hole in wall diner in Santa Monica did we look at a map. I ordered a Veggie Omelet which began the succession of vegetarian comments from Grant. The state map of California sat at our breakfast table, as Thom looked, we gaged our driving distances. There was talk of regular bowel movements and bran in the morning, but I had a gut feeling that this trip required no laxative.

It was early morning in the D and 5 of us waited for our plane to depart our beloved Detroit for Minneapolis, then taking us to Santa Monica airport where we would then rent a car and drive around Cali for the next week and a half. I really wish it was one of those pinteresty, artsy surf buses, but no. Alas it was a mini-van. #rockedit

Landing in Minneapolis, we reached our gate and waited to board the next plane. Problem number one. Chris Zuliani cannot be found.

To summarize. Chris showed up minutes before take off. Not a worry in the world. Consistently sporting the west coast vibe. Thank you Chris.

So here we are. Back in the shotty diner. The map looming before us. We decide we shall drive south, then east, then north to Yosemite national park, across to San Fran and back down Pacific Coast drive highway 1.

There was thoughts of stopping in Mexico for some late night burritos, but cheating on Aculopco wasn’t on the menu for this trip.

Beginning our driving we stopped in San Diego, blinked and then were on a different highway that was taking us across a desert. From desert to town, town to desert we realized our supplies were low. With a small shopping mall in the distance we pulled into the local grocery store “Stater Bros” a Californian chain that will forever be etched in our minds, and annoyingly repeated throughout the next week and a half.

Stop deforestation. Really didn’t apply as we walked among the giant sequoia trees in Sequoia National Park. Dotted with some of the biggest and beautifully largest trees in the world, the hike we took led us to the very peak. Oh, and don’t worry, it wasn’t boring at all. We had the natural beauty of both pine and birch but also the scent of flatulence as Thom led the way up the hike.

More driving entailed, we then reached San Francisco, a beautifully kept city with the coast and rolling mountains in the distance. We were fortunate enough to walk along the water, with a glimpse of the Golden Gate bridge- no fog. Score. The boys took off into the city, as Chris and Thom pulled Grant into guitar centre for the afternoon. Me and Sara washed our souls in the cleansing waters of Forever 21. California Bliss. Thank you.

Continuing down the coast, we took in the spectacular views of route 1, really wishing we were riding in the ‘tang. Canadian slang for mustang, secretly wishing I could live by the sea. We made it into L.A. where we walked along Hollywood Blvd, dodging weirdly dressed actors and secretly hoping we’d see some Celebs. Back to Santa Monica pier Grant made friends with a pelican who showed him some extra love.

Sara and I once again split from the boys in order to indulge in shopping. As the day came to a close, we boarded the public transport back to the long island hotel we were staying at. Not before a friendly warning from a train employee- who directed both of us girls to take off any jewelry and hide any purchases. California just got real.

We got back to our stay, waiting for the boys who showed up later than expected. They explained it was simply because they ran into Elijah Woods! He and Ryan Reynolds were also getting Chicken and Waffles at the same spot they were! Now I’m thinking I have seriously missed this moment of fate. What is shopping to Ryan Reynolds dare I ask ladies? Filled with jealousy I was so shocked!
But it was a lie.


So we made it to L.A. we took in the national parks, we got lost in a desert, we surfed, Chris ate canned Pasta on a mountain and we laughed in the mini-van with fruit by the foot. I mean, what else can you ask for when it comes to Cali.

Forever friends, forever farts, thank you California.

hermes Rivera