3 elements to living a good life story

Most people like to own things. You know, land, luggage, other people. Makes them feel secure. But all that can be taken away. And in the end, the only thing you really own is your story. Just tryin’ to live a good one.
— - Drover, Australia (2008)

There is a cool quote that talks about the spice of life, I can’t remember what it is, or what it refers too, but it made me think about how when making a recipe you need every element to come together before it’s whole. You can’t omit the eggs from a cake recipe, or the flour. They each are needed. The thrill of a mystery novel comes together when each facets of the storyline are evident. You need the bad guy, the murderer, the victim, the detective, the revealing of the crime. The story wouldn’t be much if it was simply a murder and that’s it. It wouldn’t be too compelling if it was left unsolved, or there was no description of the characters., no build or suspense to the story.

The essence of life, from the get go, there are elements you can decide to add to your life that can contribute to the contentment and wisdom of your life. Your life doesn’t have to be a reality TV show. I know some of us love the drama, but it worth thinking about the life you are building for yourself. You don’t know when it will end, and one of the most important things about it is how people will remember you, the legacy you leave. There are specific elements in life that, when added to the recipe of life, will help you live a good one.

1)    Know that arriving isn’t the goal:  

I've come to grips that, regardless of my age, regardless of my education, or comparison of societies sway- I will never fully arrive. This statement may give hope or maybe it doesn’t. How I see it is: instead of finally making it to Friday, waiting for summer, waiting for your soul mate, waiting for a promotion, for kids. We will never arrive. There will always be the next thing pulling at our contentment. Perhaps if we live with the mentality that life is constant, there may be seasons, but they don’t dictate our reactions. If we imagine that life is a continuous race, a battle field with the idea that there will always be another problem to solve another issue to come up we can focus more on how we are walking, than appose to where we are walking. That walk will take us on the right path, the right mentality of simply enjoying the walk oppose to the mindset of finishing it to get onto the next thing. 

2)    Know that impressing people isn't the goal :

I can see a human’s demeanor, we check to see if our boss is watching, we make sure other people can hear our good deeds. I’ve been privy to it. I will say things because I know I will receive that person’s approval. Or even hide the story, the element of our life because maybe that person won’t like you anymore.  I’m all about making friends, and I’m all about withholding some information to certain people because it’s not worth saying. What I have learned though, is impressing people is lame. If I stand back and ask myself, why did I say that? Why did I choose that career, why did I make that decision, or purchase that thing? If the root of it comes down to another persons’ convincing, I would do some self-check ins. Impressing people may give you relief in the short term,- but in the long run you will regret it. You’ll look back and wonder why you resented your father for pushing you to be a lawyer, or how your mom persuaded you to marry someone you didn’t thing was right for you. Regardless of the situation, when a decision isn’t made from the heart centre of who you are, you will end up blaming the people you tried to impress in the first place. But the only person you need to blame is yourself.

3. Know that the time is now

There is nothing wrong with the present. Building a good story comes with the mentality that I don’t need to rush through life, but there isn’t a better time like the present. If I have dreams and goals, I would encourage myself to pursue them. There is a time for spontaneity and there is a time for planning. So, take the time to figure out what it is you want to do. Is it time to save for the vacation you’ve always wanted to go on, or take the cooking class you’ve read about long ago? Don’t loose yourself in the idea that life is only working, promotion, responsibly, - that is only one side to the story. I’m in firm belief that we need exploration, dreaming, rest, Sabbath, enjoyment, creativity, peace. I would guess majority of our North American lives lean towards the rushing, the obtaining, the promoting, the stressing, the impressing and the worrying.

Don’t worry, plan and pray. Don’t stress, Plan and Pray. Don’t rush, plan and pray.

We all owe ourselves some grace. I've come to understand that I may never fully arrive at my intended destination in life. And when I’ve come to that point that I think I know it all, learned it all, accomplished it all- someone will top me, like a good record holder. Things will go on, and all I will be left with is my legacy, my story.

Choose to write a good one. 

Brittany Hayward